Help your baby fall asleep in their cot (0-5 months)
“My baby only sleeps on me.”
We hear this a lot from parents of babies aged 0-5 months. It’s a big change for your baby, going from being curled up warm for 9 months, to lying on their back in a bassinet or cot.
It’s absolutely normal for your baby to fall asleep on you at least some of the time during the first few months. It becomes a problem if a baby will never fall asleep anywhere else. It can even become dangerous for babies and parents.
Sleeping on a chair or sofa with your baby in your arms, is extremely risky.
Parent mental health can plummet. Postnatal depression and anxiety are common in parents of babies who struggle to settle in their bassinet/cot.
Parent physical health also takes a hit - back, neck and shoulder pain are common in parents who hold their babies constantly.
Some babies need a lot of help learning they are safe and secure in their bassinet or cot. As their parent, you can guide and support your baby to make the transition to their bassinet or cot.
Steps for supporting your baby to fall asleep in their cot
When you notice tired signs, swaddle your baby or put them in their sleeping bag. Give them their dummy, if they take one.
Take your baby in to a dark, quiet room. You might choose to use white noise if your baby is sensitive to the sounds of older siblings, traffic, or pets.
Put your baby down on their back in their bassinet or cot.
Pat their chest in a slow heart-beat rhythm - “bah-boom…bah-boom…” Do this for two minutes.
If after two minutes of patting your baby is upset, then pick them up and cuddle them for a minute. Then place your baby back down and pat again for another two minutes.
If after two minutes of patting they seem to be calming down, then persist with patting until they sleep.
Repeat this process for 10 minutes at the start of each nap and at bedtime.
If your baby is not asleep after ten minutes, pick them up and settle them to sleep with rocking, feeding, or other methods you know will work. This doesn’t mean you have failed! You supported your baby through 10 minutes of practice and it all helps.
Steps for making a gradual transition to cot settling
If the above steps feel too difficult then it’s ok to take a more gradual approach. Try out our gradual steps with your baby.
Step 1. Introduce sleep associations that can transfer to the cot. You cannot feed or hold your baby while they're in their cot, but you can pat and hum. For this step, you're going to continue feeding or holding your baby to sleep, but you will introduce patting and humming. Later on, when you're ready to try cot settling, your baby should adjust more easily because they can hear and feel the same sensations they usually feel when they fall asleep. Introduce:
Heart-beat rhythm patting. When you feed or hold your baby to sleep, pat them in a slow heart beat rhythm - "bah-boom...bah-boom..."
Humming. Hum the same line of a song over and over again.
Stay on step 1 for 1-2 weeks - until you feel it has become a habit for your baby to fall asleep with patting and humming.
Step 2. Start settling your baby in their cot:
Follow your usual bedtime routine, but place your baby in their cot awake.
Pat and hum as you did during step 1.
Persist for 10 minutes, then pick your baby up for a 2 minute cuddle, before placing them back down in their cot and persisting with patting and humming for another ten minutes.
Repeat this process until your baby sleeps, if you are comfortable to do so.
Follow this same process every time you settle your baby, so it starts to feel familiar and reassuring for your baby.
Move to the next step when you feel your baby has adjusted to always falling asleep in their cot.
Step 3. Start to phase out patting, and then start to phase out humming:
Pat your baby 10 times and then remove your hand from your baby for 10 seconds, and repeat this until they sleep. Gradually increase the amount of time you remove your hand, and decrease the number of pats. You can still hum your baby to sleep while you gradually reduce the patting.
When your baby no longer requires any patting in order to fall asleep, phase out humming. The easiest way to do this is to wander out of the room briefly while still humming. Gradually hum more softly and leave for longer periods, until they are falling asleep without needing you to hum at all.
How does it work?
When you repeat the same process every time your baby falls asleep, it starts to become more familiar and less distressing for your baby. Soon enough your baby will feel ok about falling asleep in their bassinet or cot, and you can work on reducing the amount of patting you do for each settle.
Remember to be predictable so your baby can learn the process – changing what you do will make it take longer for your baby to adjust to falling asleep in their bassinet or cot. A lot of parents will try one approach for a few minutes or a few days, then switch to another approach if it hasn’t worked. This makes it difficult for a baby to predict what will happen next and they can find this unsettling. When you are calm and predictable, and persist for ten minutes each time, you are giving your baby the opportunity to learn the process and what to expect.
Need support?
Our Sombelle paediatric sleep clinic programs are designed to give tired parents immediate advice and support, tailored to the unique needs of their baby. Video lessons, practical steps, and your questions answered by Dr Fallon and Dr Laura each week. Members also have fast-tracked access to sleep clinic appointments.
Sleep Practitioner